The Amazing Wonder Tweek
by LittleDeez-SP
Summary: The story of the lightning boy himself and his legacy as a member of the Freedom Pals, as well as a new hero to join the franchise and help in their multi-million dollar superhero movie plan!
1. Issue 1

Our scene is the bedroom of Tweek Tweak, the 4th grade resident of South Park who many assumed to be a homosexual coffee addict… but, oh, if they only **KNEW!**

"It all started when I was struck by lightning in a hailstorm, and I soon found myself possessing the powers of the elements, so I designed a costume to go into show business and cash in! But while I was showing off, an armed burglar raided my coffee shop and… oh god I can't take it! I can't remember the beginning of that damn Spider Man comic! That is way too much pressure!"

He was desperate for a new identity after he and Craig Tucker were falsely labeled as homosexuals. The new costume lets him start over and be someone different. He found a living performing "magic shows" making a decent profit.

But far away in the metropolis of Denver, a journalist who appears to know his secret introduced a **NEW** threat!

It was a heavy rainstorm, the most rain to ever touch down on South Park in decades. What would soon bring the most devastating lightning storm of the year would also change Wonder Tweek's life forever. Alone in the privacy in his bedroom he sensed danger. His home was being attacked by two burglars and an alien! So he called on his elemental powers and engaged!

But as he laid the finishing blow, he returned to his bedroom where he was greeted with the most unpleasant of surprises. It was a setup. For when he unlocked his phone, he saw, in the news feed, what appeared to be a homophobe in his clothes beating up homosexual burglers.

And so, Wonder Tweek became the target of social justice warriors everywhere, while Tweek Tweak must continue living in his nightmare of being labeled gay. What will he do about it? Only time will tell.

Meanwhile at the Coon and Friends hideout…

"Now let's go through the plan one more time. First we start with the Coon movie, then we do the Toolshed Movie, then Super Craig and Coon will join forces in the Human Kite movie, just as we start ramping up Kenny's Netflix series."

"How come I have to have the Netflix series? I want a movie too."

"You have a movie Mysterion! You're in the second Art Thief movie with Super Craig."

"Yeah but he's saying he doesn't get his own movie"

"Do I get my own movie?"

"Not everyone gets their own movie!"

"This franchise plan sucks! If we want to make billions of dollars then we should start with the Tuppaware movie"

"Right, start with the black super hero"

"Marvel's making a black superhero movie."

"Yeah now! They waited years to do that! We follow their plan we do all the real people first and then we sneak the black guy in phase 3!"

"How about we just do movies starring all of us? Like all the time?"

"But then we're just rehashing the same old material!"

"There's nothing wrong with doing the same movie to start a franchise!"

"Ok J.J. Abrams."

"Oh Ok so you're on Cartman's side?"

"He just likes this idea because he gets 2 movies in phase 1!"

"Guys! We have to go with this plan we don't even have 1 movie yet!"

"You go with the plan maybe we should just do our own franchise!"

"Oh you want Civil war? Is that what you want?"

"Yeah dude Civil War fuck you."

"Ok fuck you too get out of my house!"

"We'll make more money on our franchise!"

"Go ahead I bet you won't make it halfway through Phase 1 on your plan DC Comics!"

And the whole world will have to wonder, until our next great issue! Don't miss it!


	2. Issue 2

A story has to start somewhere, so let's begin ours with a lonely warehouse in the dead of night where we find a gathering of ninjas.

"Hold it you guys! I thought I heard something!"

"Relax Charlie it was probably just the wind."

Little did they realize the situation they got themselves into. It was the wind, being forcefully blown into their faces as a shadowy figure confronts them.

"So, you think you're so confident to stand up to the City Ninjas, Kaiyo Ken."

"You thought right! Now where is Annie's phone?!"

"Oh hoh- we don't have it on us, but City Ninjas always have backup plan!"

"Where is it?"

"You are very feisty for information Kaiyo Ken. If you want her phone back, you have to face us all… AT SAME TIME! SUPER NINJAS! TINGIDAO MA!"

Suddenly this mysterious hero finds himself surrounded by oddly humanoid shadows…

"Hahaha! You have nowhere to run Kaiyo Ken! Prepare to die!"

A few days earlier our scene is South Park Elementary, where school has been let out for the day and everyone is leaving. Last to come out is Stan Marsh and a few friends, little to their fellow students know of their secrets…

"Goddamn what a great sleep."

"Yeah I haven't slept that well in weeks!"

"So what are you guys doing tonight?"

"Oh well the usual, just watch TV then go to bed."

"Yep. Nothing exciting in our boring lives."

One of the passerby approached our boy of wonder's alter ego.

"What about you Tweek? Made any special plans with cute boys?"

It was at this moment Jackson knew... he fucked up.

"For the last time I'm not homo! Maybe a little brain shock will get you to…"

"Alright Tweek! Take it easy! He's just a bystander!"

"Screw off! You don't know how it feels to be constantly labeled as something you're not!"

He stormed off in disgust after that unfortunate encounter. For months our usually over the top hero has been labeled as homosexual ruining his social life. It was clear he was not gay, but he could do nothing about it. For now it was time for him to return home.

"Hi mom! I'm home!"

"Welcome home sweetie! How was your day?"

"Oh just the usual. I almost had another breakdown."

"Well it's good to see you holding back. Now your father and I have to see another of your cousin's baseball games so are you alright with having the house to yourself?"

"That's fine. Anything to keep me away from those Parkland kids who keep shouting remarks about my sexuality!"

And with that she left. With his distractions gone he quickly changed into Wonder Tweek and set out to do what he does best, fight crime wherever it may lurk.

We catch our hero watching over a drugfest full of sixth graders. The usual thugs, always keeping an older teenage girl hostage until they can get the usual breast pix. And 99% of the time, they would be there for hours. But this time they were greeted by the most electrifying lightning bolts to touch down on Earth!

"Hey! You leave her alone!"

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the gay wad fourth-y"

"Hey look at her crotch not mine you homo!"

"Did your boyfriend make that costume for you?" 

"I bet your boyfriend can't twerk as hard as this bitch!"

That was enough for Wonder Tweek. In a fit of range he engaged in battle against the sixth grade scum. One by one they would fall to his elemental powers, fire to burn their skin alive, lightning to make them a walking static pole, ice to freeze them in the most embarrassing positions caused by his wind, so strong it can change the direction of a speeding bullet! Wonder Tweek was ready to flee the crime scene, but not before taking one look at the… explicit photographs.

Little did he realize who was in the photographs!

"So Wonder Tweek… you seem to like female body parts a lot for a homo."

"What? What are you trying to pull?"

"You see my little blonde kiddo, you don't suspect the power I hold with these!"

She quickly dipped her hand in between her chest and just as quickly pulled out her electrically charged phone!

"Not even your lightning can stand up to this!"

But before she can do anything with it, a fiery blast of energy knocked her away! When the smoke cleared the shadow took form into Kaiyo Ken, the farting vigilante!

"Lower your guard and you allow the enemy in!"

"You… you're a…"

"Relax Tweek it's just me, Darren. I've been hired by the Doc to smuggle some special Intel for the Freedom Pals. And it looks like it's all with this girl."

"You mean, her phone wasn't the only thing between her breasts? AAAUUUUGGGGHHH! Just the though of it is so much pressure!"

"I suppose you could use an escort, back to the base."

And off they went. What will happen with the mysterious girl? Find out in the next issue!


	3. Issue 3

In the last issue the mysterious Kaiyo Ken was escorting our hero Wonder Tweek after an encounter with who appeared to be a dangerous prostitute. Their destination, the Freedom Pals base beneath Kenny's house, a place that Kaiyo Ken would not be so familiar with.

But Wonder Tweek, this was his safest haven. Before he possessed his elemental powers he and most of his friends sought to fight crime for one purpose… to make loads of money with a superhero franchise.

Tweek was supposed to be a knockoff to Black Widow, until one day a terrible war divided the franchise into rival teams, each trying to make more money than the other. And then, a few short days later, Tweek Tweak, a victim of mis-sexualizing, was struck by lightning and received his power.

"Oh god, I'm thinking about my past again aren't I? AAAUUUUGGGHH TOO MUCH PRESSURE!"

"Calm down Tweek it's alright. You're probably just remembering things out of the writer's laziness to focus on your time before becoming a Freedom Pal."

He was right too. The writer is quite a lazy ass.

Our scene is in front of Kenny's house before plunging into the underground Freedom Pals base.

"Doc! I'm back!"

The super powerful Dr. Timothy makes his entrance, on his super slow electric wheelchair, and then calms his mind.

" _Welcome back Ken. And you brought the target here. Impressive, I must say."_

"Just watch the breast area. Don't want you getting shocked."

" _Well as promised, I left the bounty on the doorstep"_

But as they examined the phone from in between her chest, little did they realize how much of a lead they got…

" _Preposterous! This phone contains secret Intel from the City Ninjas! Every single mission has been kept inside!"_

"The city ninjas? Of course! My arch nemesis must have planned on this encounter! You know what Doc? Keep the dough. You've just given me something much more valuable! I know you want me Kim Jon Lu! This isn't over!"

"…Holy crap! Did you see how fast he left?"

" _Yes… he does make a good mercenary. Almost too good to not be a part of the team… It seems I must return to my work…"_

And as he rolls back into his private room…

"Ack! My lightning senses are tingling! I can't stay long!"

Our scene shifts to the newly opened comic store on Main Street, home to the scum Magic the Gathering addicts.

"You guys again? You're causing too much pressure for the people around here!"

"Whatever Griffith fuck-face. I may be fat and stupid but I got a super OP Magic deck. Just check out these cards, makes us the GOATs."

"Well let's see if your cards can protect you from my thunder!"

"Oh shit a battle? Hey dudes! We got a challenger!"

"This is gonna be a breeze!"

"Is there a level worse than noob?"

"That's it! Taste my thunderbolts and lightning! …hey kid, that knocks you down!"

"Nuh uh, I'm wearing level 12 gold armor with an anti lightning patch on it."

"Alright… freeze attack!"

"I also have an anti freeze patch."

"Uh, fine! Poison-"

"I also have an anti air patch."

"Then how do you breathe?"

"Um oh! Well, you see, I use, uh… oh god! Suffocating!" 

"Well that's the end of him. Anyone else?"

"He's too strong for us! Retreat!"

"Wait! You forgot your… oh, oh well. I guess these cards are mine then… Might as well grab a comic or two while I'm here."

"Oh well hello Wonder Tweek! My best customer is back!"

"Hi comic book guy. Got any new comics here?" 

"Oh I'm glad you asked! The first issue of the Wonder Tweek comic just came in."

"Ack! I can't be in a comic! That is way too much pressure!"

"It's not that bad. It's actually bringing in a lot of money for the Freedom Pals."

"Hey what's that on your TV?" 

"Huh? Oh just the season 2 opener to Sword Art Online. Worst. Episode. Ever."

Hours later, in the middle of the woods east of town…

"I'll get you yet City ninjas! You won't take another- what the?"

"Where do you think you're going, Kaiyo Ken?"

Tune in next issue to see Kaiyo Ken duel against the original Freedom Pal!


End file.
